USA 2005 - Crime/Action/Thriller — 113 min — Directed by Florent Emilio Siri
Cast: Bruce Willis, Kevin Pollak, Jimmy Bennett, Michelle Horn, Ben Foster, Jonathan Tucker

Jeff Talley, a former LAPD hostage negotiator, has moved himself away from his failed career outside of Los Angeles, and away from his wife and daughter. When a convenience store robbery goes wrong in his turf, the three perpetrators move in on an unsuspecting family. But the family’s father has a secret which might compromise his kin, and one of the criminals is about to jump over the edge. Jeff Talley has to get everybody to survive the night……if he can.

Good to see Bruce is back in good form. Not the most exciting action reel, but still decent. Usually the criminals are smart in the beginning, and wind up idiots. Not in this one though. Nice touch with having two agendas in one. Sort of a surprising ending, though we all knew what would happen, it was performed in a nice way. Most of all, there are few lulls in the story, you’re interested the whole time, and no fucking stupid one-liners - at all. I can’t stand those. All in all a decent to good actioner< and not much to complain about.

My Rating: 7/10

Action/Drama — 102 min — Directed by Louis Leterrier
Cast: Jet Li, Morgan Freeman, Bob Hoskins, Kerry Condon, Vincent Regan, Dylan Brown

Danny, a slave who has lived his whole life without any sort of normal human education, with the mind and personality of a young child, with only one lesson learned: how to fight. Treated like a dog by his owner/boss, Uncle Bart which includes having to wear a collar, Danny has been raised to be a lethal fighting machine who fights in illegal gladiator-style fight clubs, where he earns lots of money for Bart as the undisputed champion. After a car accident that lands Bart in a coma, however, Danny meets a kind elderly blind piano tuner on the run because he knows secrets some bad guys don’t want known, who uses music to teach Danny some things about the world and about being human…

Never been a Jet Li fan, but I was expecting some nice kung-fu and all he delivered was a joke. Not good at all, with ten quick hits in the face, yet the adversary gets up like nothing hit him. Rather dreary and boring/predictable bland soup. Sure, I wasn’t expecting any great acting, but at least some good fighting scenes. But alas, no. Time would have been better spent looking for navel lint. Yeah. You better believe it. Only for die-hard Jet Li fans.

My Rating: 5 / 10

USA 2005 - Sci-Fi — 140 min — Directed by George Lucas
Cast: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmid, Yoda

Three years after the Battle of Geonosis, the Clone Wars are coming to a close. Obi-Wan Kenobi, now a general, is sent by the Republic to bring down remaining Separatists Count Dooku and General Grievous. And Chancellor Palpatine has become corrupt, proclaiming himself Emperor, and, with Anakin Skywalker’s help, begins to turn the Republic into the Galactic Empire. As Anakin ultimately becomes the evil we know as Darth Vader, Padme goes into hiding, and, at the end of one war, another conflict we know all too well is about to begin.

Phew. This was much better than I thought it would be. Action from start to end, with very few slow and boring scenes. While the whole thing was predictable, as we knew what the outcome would be, it still carried one hell of a punch. It’s all-out action and it’s even surprisingly good. Especially since the last two movies has sucked ass, this was a very pleasant surprise. Sure, it felt like Anakin turned too lightly and too fast to the Dark Side, but you can’t have everything. General Grievous was one outstanding being, I absolutely loved him. This is as far away from JarJar you can get with CGI. The only dull scenes were the ones with Padme, but luckily they weren’t very long nor very many. At the start there were some ‘funny’ droids and such, catering to the kids of I and II, but that quickly subsided. The opening sequence was just jaw-dropping! Needless to say, the special effects are outstanding, almost impeccable, and there’s more of it than ever.

Not many complaints from me, considering I thought this movie would stink like the previous two. But somehow Lucas has listened to the fans, and delivered what is easily the best Star Wars since the first trilogy. My ranking for the entire series would be:

1. Episode 5 - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
2. Episode 4 - Star Wars (1977)
3. Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
4. Episode 6 - Return of the Jedi (1983)
5. Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones (2002)
6. Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Ewan was better as Obi-Wan than he’d ever been, Hayden as Anakin sucked ass as usual. He was easily the worst “actor” in the whole thing, really pathetic and weak. He just don’t have any Darth Vader in him - at all. Even Pauly Shore would have been a better choice. In my opinion anyway. Heck, I even liked Yoda, and that was the most surprising thing of all. I absolutely hated him in Episode II, but here he redeemed himself completely. But General Grievous kicked ass! Oh yeah.

My Rating: 8 / 10

USA 1999 - Thriller/Crime — 139 min — Directed by David Fincher
Cast: Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, Helena Bonham Carter, Meat Loaf, Zach Grenier

You’re young. You have an easy, well-paid deskjob. You have a condo, Swedish furniture, artistic coffee tables and a fridge full of condiments. Yet you feel emotionally and spiritually empty. You eventually find comfort in going to support groups for lukemia and cancer victims when there’s nothing wrong with you until they’re hijacked from you by another faker. Then you meet Tyler Durden, a man that shows you that not only can you live without material needs but that self-destruction, the collapse of society and making dynamite from soap might not be such a bad idea either.

Hell yeah, it’s still great! Sure you know the ending, but you notice different things you didn’t the first time. Little hints here and there. It builds slowly, and you find yourself trying to figure out things ahead of the story this time. It still has some great scenes and some damn fine acting, but it’s mostly Norton’s movie, and as usual, he’s fucking great. Brad is also damn great, and Bonham works as the chick that always is in the way, but she’s never distracting. The change-over at the end is still just sweet! I love it. The only thing that stops it from getting a pefect score, is that it preaches a bit too much for my taste. Heck, what am I on about? That’s not a valid criteria as such, so I’ll give it a perfect score nonetheless. It sure deserves it. Coupled with the best DVD-commentaries ever, and the buildings going down at the end to the Pixies - priceless.

My Rating: 10 / 10

USA 2005 - Action/Adventure — 124 min — Directed by Breck Eisner
Cast: Matthew McConaughey, Penelope Cruz, Steve Zahn, William H. Macy

Dirk Pitt is looking for a ship that disappeared after the US Civil War loaded with gold, in Africa of all places. An African dictator’s nuclear waste disposal plant is mutating the red tide, and so threatens the planet’s ecosystem. It’s up to Dirk and his associates from NUMA to find the source of the pollution and shut down the operation, and to try to find the lost ship.

This movie should have been named “Sahara: How to waste 130 million dollars”. Yes, it cost that much to make, but does all that money show? The simple answer is no. Because let’s face it, this movie is a stinking piece of shit. There is no way about it. It starts promising with a Civil War scene, but after that it’s pure garbage, from beginning to end. Yes, really. I bet that the screenwriters will never work in Hollywood again, after producing one of the weakest, lames, most pathetic scripts I have ever had the misfortune to see realized into a film. What the fuck were the producers thinking when they greenlighted this?!? As the movie trods along, it goes from bad to worse to horrible to worse and ends up even worse. For your own sake, do not waste your time watching this. Because that’s what it amounts to. A total waste of time. Awful acting, especially Ms Cruz, who couldn’t act if her life depended on it, and Zahn should be shot for his pathetic attempt. I leave you with this final thought, if you decide to see it anyway: How did the ship get from the US in the 1860’s all the way to Africa and Sahara when it was just barely seaworthy in calm waters?

My Rating: 2 / 10

Drama/War/Action — 145 min — Directed by Ridley Scott
Cast: Orlando Bloom, Jeremy Irons, Liam Neeson, Martin Hancock, Nathalie Cox

At the time of the Crusades in the Dark Ages, a blacksmith named Balian goes to the religious wars raging in the far-off Holy Land. Amid the pageantry and intrigues of medieval Jerusalem he falls in love, grows into a leader, and ultimately uses all his courage and skill to defend the city against staggering odds. A fragile peace prevails, through the efforts of its enlightened Christian king, Baldwin IV, and the military restraint of the legendary Muslim leader Saladin. King Baldwin’s vision of peace - a kingdom of heaven - is shared by a handful of knights, who swear to uphold it with their lives and honor. Balian takes a sacred oath to protect the helpless, safeguard the peace, and work toward harmony between religions and cultures, so that a kingdom of heaven can flourish on earth.

As with every movie made by Ridley, I was expecting a great one, and visually it delivered breathtakingly. I was afraid that Orlando in a leading role would be awful, but he was fine. Not outstanding, mind you, but quite adequate. Story-size it was much better than I had hoped for. Yeah, I’ve heard all the ramblings about the politically correctness of it, and yes, it’s there luring in the background, The story is at times very inconsistent, even stupid, and you can feel the hand of nasty Hollywood tampering with it; distorting and changing things, but it never destroy the film in any way. Both sides were cruel by today’s standards, but then again, war has never been something good. It’s always messy.
I laughed hard when Balian had his subjects in the Holy Land dig for water. Like they wouldn’t have done that before he came?!? And what does a French blacksmith know of digging for water in a desert? There are a bunch of such minor things that rear its head now and then, annoying, yes, but minor.
Heard complaints that it was too long, but if anything, I felt it was way too short. It should have been an hour longer or so, because it didn’t feel long at all. Many of the actors felt under-used, especially Jeremy Irons and Liam Neeson. Jeremy totally owns in almost everything he does, and Liam was great too. Naturally, there just had to be a forced love-story in there. It didn’t ruin it, it was minimized much to my joy, and didn’t distract too much from the scenery. Eva Green as Sibylla looked great and did a fine job, as did the rest of the cast. Nothing major to complain about. The battle scenes were short, but very effective, especially when Balian defends the castle, and the Jerusalem army appears. Power! That looked completely awesome, was the highlight of the movie for me. It’s not a bad movie, but it’s not great either.

My Rating: 7 / 10

USA 2004 - Thriller — 102 min — Directed by James Wan
Cast: Leigh Whannell, Cary Elwes, Danny Glover, Ken Leung, Dina Meyer, Mike Butters

Adam and Lawrence wake up chained to pipes at opposite ends of a dirty utility room. They soon learn that they have become the victims of the Jigsaw, a serial killer who devises intricate situations to get his victims to kill each other. Pitted against the clock and each other, the two must work to outwit their captor and save Gordon’s family, who have been taken hostage by the killer.

Been told by some friends to watch this. I refused to hear anything about it, except that it was suposedly a good thriller with a sicko story. It was well executed and told, but for some reason it failed to engage me. Sure, it’s mostly a psychological thriller, being that if you were put in the same situation - what would you do? I get it. I felt that the writers had tried too hard to be casual about the story, and it got me thinking that at some point, everything will be turned on its head. And in the last scene, sure we get the surprising plot-twist that I was anticipating all along. Which sadly, doesn’t make it a surprising at all. I liked the sequence with the woman with the mouth-trap best. Nasty. Barbwire guy was also nasty.

My Rating: 6 / 10

USA 2005 - Thriller/Mystery — 102 min — Directed by John Maybury
Cast: Adrien Brody, Keira Knightley, Kris Kristofferson, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kelly Lynch

A military veteran returns to his native Vermont suffering from bouts of amnesia. When he is accused of murder and lands in an asylum, a well-meaning doctor puts him on a heavy course of experimental drugs, restrains him in a jacket-like device, and locks him away in a body drawer of the basement morgue. The process sends him on a journey into the future, where he can foresee his death (but not who did it or how) in four day’s time. Now the only question that matters is: can the woman he meets in the future save him?

The film starts with some epilectic-inducing jump-cuts, but once you get past that it’s all uphill. Brody is excellent as the “sick” veteran. Lowkey, yet very effective. Keira as the love interest works fine, as she’s one fine lady, though I’ve got bigger boobs than she. But that’s beside the point. She’s good too, though Brody has the biggest canvas to paint on. The story is moving along steadily, and it never gets boring. I gotta admit that I’ve never heard of this film, and it was a big surprise. I wish Hollywood would take more chances, than just pump out craptastic blokbusters. This is not one of those, and it’s nice to see that smaller pictures can still be made. It cost in the $20 million to make this one, and I’m just thinking that xXx 2 (released this weekend) cost $100 million more to make… They could have made five The Jacket movies for the price of that collossal disaster. It won’t make those $120 million back - not by a longshot. Sure, The Jacket didn’t make it back either, but at 1/5th the cost, at least the studio can look forward to great DVD sales/rentals from this, and thus earn some money. It’s a good movie. There, I said it.

My Rating: 8 / 10

USA 1997 - Sci-Fi/Thriller — 115 min — Directed by David Twohy
Cast: Charlie Sheen, Ron Silver, Teri Polo, Lindsay Crouse, Richard Schiff

Zane Ziminski is an astrophysicist who receives a message that seems to have extraterrestrial origins. Eerily soon after his discovery, Zane is fired. He then embarks on a search to determine the origins of the transmission that leads him into a Hitchcockian labyrinth of paranoia and intrigue.

Been a couple years since I saw this one last, and it still holds up. Never seen the sequel, for obvious reasons, and never will. While it’s not the greatest story ever told, it’s still effective, especially for sci-fi geeks like me. I remembered essentially everything, which is very rare for me, almost unheard of. I also thought the end-fight was much longer, but I was probably mixing it up with another movie - now that’s not rare! The story is not cheesy at all, and doesn’t go for lame in-jokes, or supposedly witty one-liners and such nonsense. Though not much in the way of action, it’s still allright.

My Rating: 7 / 10

Spain 2004 - Drama/Mystery — 102 min — Directed by Brad Anderson
Cast: Christian Bale, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Aitana Sánchez-Gijón, Michael Ironside

In a bleak and nondescript American city, Trevor Reznick is quite literally withering away to nothing. During the day Trevor works in a colorless industrial factory, while at night he seeks refuge in the bed of a tender prostitute, Stevie. For reasons unknown even to Trevor, he hasn’t been able to sleep for an entire year. In the process, he has shed over sixty pounds, making him look like a walking skeleton. After an accident at the factory costs Trevor his job, he finds himself tracking a mysterious figure that may or may not, in fact, provide some answers to his confusion. Meanwhile, he begins to connect with a pretty airport waitress, Marie, who shows Trevor some much-needed sympathy.

Christian Bale was great, damn great even. He really looked like a skeleton, thin as, well, a skeleton. He must have lost half his weight for this movie, because he’s really thin. Really thin. His character is creepy and his performance make me think he might even be a good Batman. But, I’m not sure he really can pull that one off. The visuals were really great, and you just assume it’s in the US, even though it was filmed in Barcelona. The atmosphere is spot on, as a dreadfully bleak, desolate city that could be anywhere. Bale’s performance aside, it’s nothing spectacular. It borrows heavily from Early David Lynch movies and film noir in style, but ultimately fails to deliver any real thrills. The story just isn’t good enough. They were going for something Memento-esque, but it pales in comparision. At least we get to see JJL’s boobies, muhaha

My Rating: 6 / 10

Action/Adventure — 154 min — Directed by Edward Zwick
Cast: Ken Watanabe, Tom Cruise, William Atherton, Billy Connolly

In Japan, Civil War veteran Captain Nathan Algren trains the Emperor’s troops to use modern weapons as they prepare to defeat the last of the country’s samurais. But Algren’s passion is swayed when he is captured by the samurai and learns about their traditions and code of honor.

Nicely done. It has some awesome combat scenes, and it’s brutal. The setting is great, and it really preaches a bit too much for me. You knew how things would end up, almost scene by scene. I felt that it tried to make the captain into a hero, much like Mel in Braveheart. Made me wonder how it was received in Japan, with their honor and such. It’s most definitely a kick in the balls to them. A wake up call. But as we know, medieval times are bygones, never to return, however much romanticized they are. Tom does and great job as usual, as does Watanabe. I really hated the US Army lieutenant - what a creep. It was nicely filmed, but not spectacular; I guess Kurosawa is still the master there. But as I said, I liked the gritty combat immensely!

Sadly though, no nudity. I’m joking of course. Or am I? Thank God we didn’t have to endure Tom’s butt, but alas, not even a boob in sight. It was great that they didn’t inject a love story into it all. Well, they did kinda, but at least not in the regular sense, and cheers for that! It would have made it so sappy and forced. If you want a romantic movie, see another movie.

My Rating: 7 / 10