USA 2005 - Action/Crime — 109 min — Directed by Jean-François Richet
Cast: Ethan Hawke, Maria Bello, Gabriel Byrne, Fulvio Cecere, Brian Dennehy, Laurence Fishburne

On New Year’s Eve, inside a police station that’s about to be closed for good, officer Jake Roenick must cobble together a force made up cops and criminals to save themselves from a mob of corrupt cops looking to kill mobster Marion Bishop.

I don’t remember the original (surprise, surprise) but this one was actually pretty decent. Not great mind you, but still some fun entertainemnt. Maria Bello as Hawke’s sorta love-interest psy-doc caught up in the mess, looked just fine fine. As is common with action movies, there’s lots of it, and it’s always gonna be a shoot-out between the good guy vs the baddie at the end. And naturally the bad guys start out being smart about their business, only to get dumber by the minute, and ultimately fail. Guess who wins… I liked that it was realistic, or at least, the violence was somewhat realistic, and there was even one or two surprises. People hit by a gunshot, just don’t walk around like John Wayne. I’ve never liked the silicon-bimbo from ‘Joey’ (his sister) so she did nothing for me, and happily, she wasn’t vital for the story, hehe. Not much else to say, but I do remember that the original was not set during a blizzard.

My Rating: 6 / 10

USA 2004 - Adventure/Drama/War — 175 min — Directed by Oliver Stone
Cast: Colin Farrell, Jared Leto, Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer, Anthony Hopkins

Conquering 90% of the known world by the age of 25, Alexander the Great led his armies through 22,000 miles of sieges and conquests in just eight years. Coming out of Macedonia, Alexander led his armies against the mighty Persian Empire, drove west to Egypt, and finally made his way east to India. This film will concentrate on those eight years of battles, as well as his relationship with his boyhood friend and battle mate, Hephaestion. Alexander’s conquests paved the way for the spread of Greek culture (facilitating the spread of Christianity centuries later), and removed many of the obstacles that might have prevented the expansion of the Roman Empire. In other words, the world we know today might never have been if not for Alexander’s bloody, yet unifying, conquest.

Underwhelming and dumbed down, two things that sums up this supposedly ‘epic’ movie. Colin Farrell does an allright portrayal, as does the rest of the cast - though Val Kilmer as the King was excellent. Hannibal Lecter is his usual, mega-boring self, and Jolie did a much better job than I thought her capable of. But Olive Stone, the director, did a shoddy job at best. It sure doesn’t feel epic is any way, which is what an Alexander movie should be. Too bad Baz dropped his version, it would easily have been much this movies’ superior, without even trying.

The battles are way too brief and muddled, and Stone dwells too much on the wrong things and events.
You never get a feel for Alexander’s greatness if you will. It’s a long move, almost 3 hours, and I apprechiate the difficulty of making a movie about the whole of his life, but this surely isn’t it. Even a documentary on Discovery will do a better job at that. By concentrating on certain events and battles, and only brief mentions of the conquering of Egypt, Babylon and bloody much the rest too, lessens any impact it could have. It’s almost as if it was made for US television, totally dumbed down, and patronizing to the audience. But then, why am I surprised? It’s an American movie, made for the stupid American masses, and certainly not for Europeans. And that’s probably where it falls flat on it’s face. Any European director would have made a better movie. Heck, even an African tribesman wouldn’t have fucked it up this royally. To be honest, I imagined that it would be even worse than it was, but though it wasn’t, it was not good by any means. Even Troy was much better.

My rating: 5 / 10

The fourth Batman explores the origins of the Batman legend and the Dark Knight’s emergence as a force for good in Gotham. In the wake of his parents’ murder, disillusioned industrial heir Bruce Wayne travels the world seeking the means to fight injustice and turn fear against those who prey on the fearful. He returns to Gotham and unveils his alter-ego: Batman, a masked crusader who uses his strength, intellect and an array of high tech deceptions to fight the sinister forces that threaten the city.

Oh man. Seems Batman now have a ’sensei’ who taught him his combat skills. Yes, Hollywood is gearing up to unleash yet another Batman on us, and by the looks of it, it will blow you away. Not in the good sense, as it being good, rather the opposite. Michael Caine as Alfred? Liam Neeson as his Sensei? Well, all of these would be allright, and probably is, but Christian Bale as Batman?!? I remember he sucked ass in American Psycho, or maybe it was just the movie that was shit? Anyway, this really looks bad. Not as bad as Fatgirl in the last Batman movie, but still. They should let Bruce rest in peace. There’s no need to resurrect him.

Yeah, you guessed it - I didn’t like the trailer. It’s supposedly a darker Batman, but it still seems to have the crappy love shit woven into it, just to get the female audience. Batman should be all action, and no stupid love-interest. That’s not how I remember him. A lovesick lonely boy. If anything, he’s a fully grown male that thrives on action. Nothing more, nothing less. He’s not a X-Men wannabe with a leather fetish. He’s Batman! That should be enough!

There might be one redeeming factor - it’s directed by Chris Nolan, who made the excellent Memento a couple years back. So all might not be gloom, but I’m not having high hopes…

You can watch the trailer at over here.

Adventure/Drama — 118 min — Directed by Wes Anderson
Cast: Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, Cate Blanchett, Anjelica Huston, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum

Internationally famous oceanographer Steve Zissou and his crew–Team Zissou–set sail on an expedition to hunt down the mysterious, elusive, possibly non-existant Jaguar Shark that killed Zissou’s partner during the documentary filming of their latest adventure. They are joined on their voyage by a young airline co-pilot who may or may not be Zissou’s son, a beautiful journalist assigned to write a profile of Zissou, and Zissou’s estranged wife and co-producer, Eleanor. They face overwhelming complications including pirates, kidnapping, and bankruptcy.

How the Hell does this get a 7.3 rating at imdb.com? Plants? It’s one awful piece of stinking shit. How the director managed to get the $25 million budget is a no-brainer with a cast like this. I bet they thought it would be a great film. I wonder how many of the executives who saw early footage from this managed to avoid choking to death. I’ve never seen such a waste of talent go so totally overboard, pardon the pun, in such a total shipwreck of a movie. This one falls flat on all counts. The director must have spent the money on hookers and parties, because it’s not in this movie. Well, apart from the 25 cents he spent on the story.
Performance-wise only Willem Defoe manages to do anything at all with his role, which isn’t much to boast about. Bill Murray looked like he was sleepwalking for the entire duration. Oh, I really suffered to get through the whole thing, but I forced myself to watch it till the end. I barely made it. Wes Anderson should be taken out to sea and dumped there along with all copies ever made of this total waste of film. The world would be a better place. Fuck! It was so dull dull dull dull!

My rating: 1 /10

France 2002 - Thriller/Crime — 110 min — Directed by Brian De Palma
Cast: Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Antonio Banderas, Peter Coyote, Rie Rasmussen

Con artist/thief Laure Ash helps pull off a diamond robbery in Cannes during the film festival. She double-crosses her partners and makes off with the diamonds to Paris, and then leaves the country. Seven years later, she re-surfaces as the wife of the new American ambassador to France where a photographer, takes her picture which sets the stage for a motion of events.

This movie has one of the hottest lesbian scenes ever in a regular movie, between models-turned-actresses Rie Rasmussen and Rebecca Romijn. Rebecca also does one damn hot dance/strip scene that will make a bulge in your pants - unless you’re gay. Storywise it’s a bit too haphazard at times, and you never get the whole picture. You’re kept on your toes, guessing what’s gonna happen and why somethings do happen. It works fine, but at times you really feel that there need to be some justification to some events. Well, you get it close to the end, as most of the film has happened the Dallas way - turns out Rebecca lying naked in a bathtub has dreamt it all. But when she awakes, the events she dreamt of, start happening, so she alters it. If you a decent crime/heist story, this is a no-brainer to watch. If you also like naked hot women - do yourself a service and watch this! Rebecca goes full frontal, which in itself should be enough!

My Rating: 7 / 10