Action — Directed by Paul Greengrass
Cast: Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, David Strathairn, Scott Glenn, Paddy Considine

Bourne dodges new, superior assassins as he searches for his unknown past while a government agency tries to track him down.

Matt Damon is back as Bourne in his third installation, and as expected, it is the weakest of the three. The script for this one is real real bad, and the action feels forced. You never get to connect with Jason like you did in the prequels and it really destroys the movie. There’s no urgency to his search for the clues and the assassin(s) just falls flat and feels as a whole the whole thing feels tepid , underdeveloped and, yes, old. Nothing new in this movie you haven’t seen a million times before.

Action is done with lots of camera cuts, angles and makes a mess of things. You never feel like you’re in the combat like in the first two movies. The whole root-top action is a total mess and totally unbelievable. There are a few highlights though that make it bearable. Jason jumping into buildings through the window only to leave the same through another. Now that’s cool.

The female lead is, well, how shall I put it, totally meaningless. She essentially gives up her career just to follow Bourne. What’s her motivation? We never get one, she just tags along for some inexplicable reason. Bad script. Bad script!

My rating: 5/10

High-school student Sam Witwicky buys his first car, who is actually the Autobot “Bumblebee.” Other Autobots arrive on Earth, searching for the Allspark, and the war on Earth heats up as the Decepticons attack a United States military. Sam and Mikaela are taken by the top-secret agency Sector 7 to help stop the Decepticons, but when they learn the agency also intends to destroy the Autobots, they formulate their own plan to save the world

This is a movie for kids and former kids who watched the cartoon version as they grew up. I caught myself groaning several times during the ordeal I suffered trying to watch this. It’s not that it’s a real bad movie, it’s just that I’m probably not the target audience. It’s a fact I will have to live with. I am getting old… Sigh!
It is entertainment and nothing else. Note that I didn’t say good entertainment. Atleast ’some’ semblance of reality would be nice. There’s just no way these robots could be defeated had the movie tried to seem believable. In under a second those fighting it would have been wiped out. Thankful enough for the actors, the robots go into some kind of lets-do-nothing mode during the fights. Otherwise the fight scenes would have lasted about 5 seconds. That’s how powerful the robots feel. And moving 10 feet sometime takes them 5 seconds or more, while it at times takes under a second. Go figure. Guess they can’t make a movie where the robots slaughter everything in sight. No place for humans then I guess…

My rating: 5/10

Action/Adventure/Mystery/Thriller — 141 min — Directed by Christopher Nolan
Cast: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman, Cillian Murphy

As a boy a young Bruce Wayne watched in horror as his millionaire parents were slain in front of his eyes, a trauma which led him to become obsessed with revenge but his chance is cruelly taken away from him by fate. After disappearing to the East where he seeks counsel with the dangerous but honorable ninja cult leader known as Ra’s Al-Ghul, he returns to his now decaying Gotham City overrun by organised crime and dangerous individuals manipulating the system whilst the company he inherited is slowly being pulled out from under him. The discovery of a cave under his mansion, and a prototype armoured suit leads him to take on a new persona, one which will strike fear into the hearts of men who do wrong - he becomes, Batman.

Batman is back. Yes, after the appaling Batman & Robin, he has returned, and he’s better than ever. It’s not as ‘cartoony’ as the other movies done, though they have put a few reminders in there that it’s a comics-movie. But all in all, it’s a more mature and darker Batman than all the other, and that’s damn fine with me. About time even. Bale actually pulls it off. I thought he wouldn’t fit the boots, but he’s simply put the best Batman yet.

The action scenes could have been better, sure, but you gotta see it as a comic - and it’s not as exaggerated as in the ‘old’ Batman movies. There is a bit of reality thrown in, and the stupid one-liners are kept to a minimum, thank god! But it’s Liam Neeson that steals the show. He owns every scene he’s in, dominating Bale in every way. Not that Bale is bad, he just shrinks in comparision to Liam. Michael Caine is all right, and I’m not sure he’s a better Alfred, the old one was great, but at least he’s not a total disaster like Katie Holmes. How in Hell did she manage to win this role? The only answer is that she must give good head and love it! I’d be hard pressed to make a worse choice, talk about scraping the bottom of the barell. Luckily for us, she won’t be back for the inevitable sequel.

I think they hit the setting and moods of the film spot on. This is, simply put, the best Batman movie ever. Yes, it even beat Tim Burton’s. I can’t wait to see it again.

My Rating: 9/10

Sci-Fi/Thriller — 116 min — Directed by Steven Spielberg
Cast: Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Tim Robbins, Rick Gonzalez, Yul Vazquez

Ray Ferrier is a working class man living in New Jersey. He’s estranged from his family, his life isn’t in order, and he’s too caught up with himself. But the unthinkable and, ultimately, the unexpected happens to him in an extraordinary sense. His small town life is shaken violently by the arrival of destructive intruders: Aliens which have come en masse to destroy Earth. As they plow through the country in a wave of mass destruction and violence, Ray must come to the defense of his children. As the world must fend for itself by a new and very advanced enemy not of this world, it’s inhabitants must save humanity from a far greater force that threatens to destroy it.

Allright. What we have here is a story that just is too well known. Not that the movie is bad, but there just are no surprises at all. Well, there are some, they’re just not in the plot, which is good, or I would be complaining about that. We follow Tom Cruise along the trip, and there are almost zero heroics from him, which is good. Speilberg has chosen to concentrate on Tom keeping his family safe, instead of going for the massive counter-attacks by military on a large scale. We only get to see what happens close to Tom, and there’s almost no information on what’s going on elsewhere. I like that, because it seems plausible, and you can feel the hopelessness people feel when confronted by the pods. There’s no way, but to die. I think I wouldn’t have minded if they had changed the ending, because you knew that it was coming, just a matter of when. It could have been a nice surprise to have something else happen. Sure, it would have made H.G. Wells spin in his grave, but I would have enjoyed it so much more, not knowing the ending. It kinda… killed the suspense. And the Aliens not knowing Biology 101… Yeah, they would have known about that.

The Pods are awesome, and the CGI-work is flawless, as far as I can tell. If you took footage back 20 years and showed it to people, they would swear it was real. Yeah, it is that good. The Aliens themselves, are something in between Alien and the smaller Starship Troopers bugs. Exploding houses, flying cars and all such collateral damage going on is freaking amazing!

My Rating: 7/10

Action/Adventure/Comedy/Romance/Thriller — 120 min — Directed by Doug Liman
Cast: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Vince Vaughn, Adam Brody, Kerry Washington, Keith David

A married couple (Pitt and Jolie) are getting bored with their quiet domestic life. What they don’t know, however, is that they’re both assassins, secretly hopping the world and killing for hire. But their separate lives are about to collide when each finds out their next target is their own spouse.

Well, another factory made Hollywood movie done by the recipebook. Nothing exhilarating, nothing very interesting and no plot twists. In fact, I’d say there were nothing in the movie that made it worth watching at all. It’s plain vanilla. No steamy sex scenes, only a bunch of mediocre shootout scenes we’ve seen a million times before. Yawn.

So how does Brad and Angelina do? I’d say Brad does an adequate job but absolutely nothing to write home about. Feels like he’s on remote control at times, but at least he seems to have fun. It feels like he’s taking the piss outta the producers, and at times you can see a glint in his eye which tells you that he knows, and he’s letting you know he knows… Angelina on her side does what she’s been doing for a while - nothing. It’s like she doesn’t even try. She knows what’s expected of her, and she delivers just that. Nothing more. Her character is easily the least likeable person in the movie, and she’s got her panties in a bunch so far up her ass you can smell the vinegar.

Ok, on to the director… Uninspired and quite frankly, what a mess of a job. He gets absolutely nothing out of his cast, and almost every scene is poorly done and visualized, not to mention executed. Which is exactly what his career should be. Sure you can blame some of it to the crappy script, but it’s his job to make even a pathetic script look good. He just doesn’t pull it off, not by far. There’s not one scene worth mentioning, and there could have been a few, if it had been done right. Like the whole movie, it wasn’t right. It’s a mess from beginning to end. As a whole I give it a 5, because it’s not bad, it’s not good. It’s just as plain as they come.

My Rating: 5/10

USA 2004 - Crime/Thriller — 97 min — Directed by Brett Ratner
Cast: Pierce Brosnan, Salma Hayek, Woody Harrelson, Don Cheadle

After a successful last score, a master thief and his wife retires to an island paradise in the Caribbean. His lifelong nemesis, a crafty FBI agent, washes ashore to ensure he’s making good on his promise, to get him. The pair soon enters into a new game of cat-and-mouse, as a last tempation for the thief arrives on a ship.

If for nothing else, watch this one for Selma’s cleavage. Yes, it’s one of the big features in this movie, and also one of the highlights, come to think of it. They do concentrate on getting shots of her rack in almost every shot she’s in. Now that’s what I call inspired moviemaking. The plot you say? Do you really care? Pierce is Pierce, Woody is Woody, and Selma has big boobies. Is there anything else you need? There are some lame attempts at comedy here and there, but as you only wait for the next boob-shot… It’s not brainsurgery. Think Tailor of Panama, and you have what ballpark it’s in. Nothing amazing, except for said boobies, nothing awful. Aw, fuck this. It was ok.

My Rating: 7/10 (+1 for Selma’s cleavage)

Brazil 2002 - Crime/Drama/Thriller — 130 min — Directed by Fernando Meirelles
Cast: Alexandre Rodrigues, Leandro Firmino, Phellipe Haagensen, Douglas Silva

Cidade de Deus (City of God) is a housing project built in the 1960’s that in the early 80’s became one of the most dangerous places in Rio de Janeiro. Seen through the eyes of Rocket, a poor black youth too frail and scared to become an outlaw but also to smart to be content with underpaid, menial jobs. He grows up in a very violent environment. The odds are all against him. But he soon discovers that he can see reality differently than others. His redemption is that he’s been given an artist’s point of view as a keen-eyed photographer.

This is not a movie for the weak-of-heart. It’s brutal, and show you how little value a life can really have, and probably still have in Rio’s slum. Even small kids have no problems murdering people in cold blood. This is one reason I will never set my foot in this festering shithole. As Ripley said; it should be nuked from orbit. When life is worth absolutely nothing, and the murderers don’t care one bit - something is wrong. Very wrong. This movie sure gets you thinking about that there really is such a place even today! The film is well done without being preachy at all. It just shows it like it is - brutal. I feel I need to digest this movie further. Right now I’m a bit out-of-breath from seeing it. What a life. Or rather, Hell on Earth.

My Rating: 6/10

Animation/Thriller — Directed by Richard Linklater
Cast: Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr., Woody Harrelson, Winona Ryder

In suburban Orange County, California in a future where America has lost the war on drugs. When one reluctant undercover cop is ordered to start spying on his friends, he is launched on a paranoid journey into the absurd, where identities and loyalties are impossible to decode.

Wow, this trailer looks damn cool! Like a graphic novel come to life, with live action photography overlaid with animation - quite weird, yet damn cool. And with a cast like this, what could possibly go wrong? I like Keanu. He might not be the world’s best character actor, but if they only keep him from trying to be too normal, or British, he should be fine. Downey is always good. Yeah, always. He’s one of my all-time favorites. Woody is always great too, and I’ve always had a sweetspot for Winona. It is based on the novel by Philip K. Dick and his own drug experiences. Wow! I really hope it’s as cool as it looks. Can’t wait for March 2006, when it’s (hopefully) getting released.

Watch the trailer: Click here!

USA 2005 - Animation/Family — 86 min — Directed by Eric Darnell
Cast: Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer, Jada Pinkett Smith, Sacha Baron Cohen, Cedric the Entertainer

At New York’s Central Park Zoo, a lion, a zebra, a giraffe, and a hippo are best friends and stars of the show. But when one of the animals goes missing from their cage, the other three break free to look for him, only to find themselves reunited … on a ship en route to the island of Madagascar. When their vessel capsizes off the coast, however, the friends, who have all been raised in captivity, learn first-hand what life can be like in the wild.

I was expecting a lousy movie, and that’s what was delivered. Below average animation that would have been allright five years ago. It definitely wasn’t funny in any way, at most it made me smirk in a couple places. I’ve heard about the penguins being funny, and they certainly were - not. You might like this one, if you’re under ten. The in-jokes were so pathetic and poorly done it made me wanna scream. Oh. They were supposed to be funny? Haha. Riiight. THe whole movie had no spark at all, just made to fill the bankaccounts of Dreamworks and the voice-talent. That brings me to the performances of said folks. Stiller was so bland and boring that I never got the least interested, and Schwimmer was dull, dull, dull. Smith did ok, but anyone could have done that - and better. Only Chris Rock did well, but there was no humor in this movie. Not to my taste in any case. But worst of all was the Lemur King. He was terrible, just horribly bad. I fear that this one belongs right beside Shark Tale - on the bottom of the sea, left there to just vanish. Madagascar is the worst CG movie I’ve seen yet. I’m afraid to watch Shark Tale and Will “My-head-is-sooo-fucking-big” Smith. No, after this I even dread it.

My Rating: 3/10

USA 2005 - Crime/Action/Thriller — 113 min — Directed by Florent Emilio Siri
Cast: Bruce Willis, Kevin Pollak, Jimmy Bennett, Michelle Horn, Ben Foster, Jonathan Tucker

Jeff Talley, a former LAPD hostage negotiator, has moved himself away from his failed career outside of Los Angeles, and away from his wife and daughter. When a convenience store robbery goes wrong in his turf, the three perpetrators move in on an unsuspecting family. But the family’s father has a secret which might compromise his kin, and one of the criminals is about to jump over the edge. Jeff Talley has to get everybody to survive the night……if he can.

Good to see Bruce is back in good form. Not the most exciting action reel, but still decent. Usually the criminals are smart in the beginning, and wind up idiots. Not in this one though. Nice touch with having two agendas in one. Sort of a surprising ending, though we all knew what would happen, it was performed in a nice way. Most of all, there are few lulls in the story, you’re interested the whole time, and no fucking stupid one-liners - at all. I can’t stand those. All in all a decent to good actioner< and not much to complain about.

My Rating: 7/10

Action/Drama — 102 min — Directed by Louis Leterrier
Cast: Jet Li, Morgan Freeman, Bob Hoskins, Kerry Condon, Vincent Regan, Dylan Brown

Danny, a slave who has lived his whole life without any sort of normal human education, with the mind and personality of a young child, with only one lesson learned: how to fight. Treated like a dog by his owner/boss, Uncle Bart which includes having to wear a collar, Danny has been raised to be a lethal fighting machine who fights in illegal gladiator-style fight clubs, where he earns lots of money for Bart as the undisputed champion. After a car accident that lands Bart in a coma, however, Danny meets a kind elderly blind piano tuner on the run because he knows secrets some bad guys don’t want known, who uses music to teach Danny some things about the world and about being human…

Never been a Jet Li fan, but I was expecting some nice kung-fu and all he delivered was a joke. Not good at all, with ten quick hits in the face, yet the adversary gets up like nothing hit him. Rather dreary and boring/predictable bland soup. Sure, I wasn’t expecting any great acting, but at least some good fighting scenes. But alas, no. Time would have been better spent looking for navel lint. Yeah. You better believe it. Only for die-hard Jet Li fans.

My Rating: 5 / 10